Sunday, January 3, 2010

Notes from Him-plus Land

This blog has been ignoring the news that Susan Sarandon (63) and Tim Robbins (51) have split after 23 years together. That’s probably because I hadn’t gotten myself to believe it, despite the obvious evidence.

When I first met Michael, I had on my apartment wall a poster from “Bull Durham” with Kevin Costner’s “I Believe In…” speech. Of course I had rooted for Susan Sarandon’s Annie Savoy to fall for Costner’s Crash Davis, and not the goofy kid Nuke LaLoosh, played by Robbins.

But in real life she did fall for Robbins. And the two of them, with their 12-year age difference, were a sort of guiding star for Michael and me. And now, well… dang it. My first thought when I heard the news? Age difference! He wants a younger woman. But the recent rumor mill busts that stereotype, suggesting it’s Sarandon who’s taking up with a younger mate. What to make of this?

Just when I’m trying to get my head around that, along comes this story about true love in today’s Washington Post. She: 65, a dance instructor. He: 32, one of her students. They met when he was 23; they married a year ago, on New Year’s Eve. “It’s almost like she’s oxygen to me,” he says.

Here’s what I take away from all of this: That love can start and love can end in surprising ways. That a 33-year age difference makes our 17-year gap seem paltry. That I should live every day believing that Michael and I will outlast Annie and Nuke.


  1. And you might. Outlast them, that is, but whether you do or don't you have had a love that will carry you. Because it's today that matters, not tomorrow and we can't stop the 'what if's' that life tries to trap our ego into thinking but we can tell our ego's fears "I had the BEST love life offers and it will sustain me, no matter what"

  2. Bummer about Tim and Sue (who I saw two summers ago striding hand-in-hand at a Wilco concert in Brooklyn). It seems you're suggesting that rather than take the demise of their relationship as an ominous sign for a Him+ couple one should heed the wisdom Crash imparts to Nuke. "Don't think, it can only hurt the ballclub."